May. 23rd, 2014 04:26 am
klaverly: (jw)
[personal profile] klaverly

One day as I was closing my country music store,
In came a red haired lady,
She was all cried out and sore.
She walked right in and grabbed me
Just right out of the blue,
And said "I need someone to listen,
And this someone will be you."

She said, "I know that men are stupid,
I know that you are too,
So I will try to simplify my story just for you.
I am a man-eater, I own them from the start,
But somehow this handsome fucker got his hand around my heart.

Well I know I had it coming,
I know I was a fool,
Cause he really made me trust him
And he really made me drool,
He made me feel important,
He knew just what to say,
But you can bet your ass I really made him pay."

She said "My plan was to seduce him,
But he was far ahead,
He smiled at me and suddenly
I laid down in his bed.
And so far it was perfect, but something wasn't right,
Because I thought of him the whole next day,
And dreamt of him all night.

And soon I was his baby,
My god I was naive,
Cause he was fine and he was mine,
I simply couldn't leave.
One day I came home early and found him in a chair,
But over him sat my best friend,
And guess what she did there.

Well I didn't care about her,
I let her run away,
He said 'oh please I'm sorry'
And I said 'but you will pay.'
Then he tried to escape me, but I was far ahead,
I found a knife and took his life,
Oh god how much he bled.

And then I cut him up in pieces,
My handsome charming midge,
I sorted him in big black bags, a
And put him in the fridge.
Now I am a man-eater, in more than just one way...
He tastes like pig, but that's okay,
I eat him every day.
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